Currently Listening Escape By Journey see related

isn't it nice when you write a fucking entry and it just desappears in a second?! i love it, favorite thing in this world!!

ok so the other day i had this dream... i got this great dane. throughout the whole dream i kept forgetting the dog's name! it was awful... the dog seemed like the funnest, most energetic and just the most obedient dog ever. it was a handful in a good way- it simply did not deserve my and my friends' memory failures. the second worst part is the fact that we kept forgetting the wether the dog was male or female, so it caused another milestone into the whole name remembrance. the dog's name was finally rendered as KING. however i am still having doubts to wether king is the right name... it seems rather silly to me.
but i guess i can't really talk much i do have a male cat by the name of sue... johnny sue cash.
hmm... oh well

my health is returning to normal. which is just wanderful. i couldn't be happier. i am schedualed to go back to work saturday.
sometime next week paula and i will sit down and dreadlock my hair. once i get some extra cash and visit sally's hair shop or order the things needed to properly dread hair online. it's final. i'm nervous and excited. i can hardly wait and i hope my non-dreadlocked days go as slow as they humanly can. fingers crossed.

my car is also repaired. it should arrive to my presence shortly... thank god. i will be returning to my apartment in an hour or two, if things go as i'm planning.

because the world is round it turns me on.. / ..because the wind is high it blows my mind.. / ..the sky is blue, it makes me cry [the beatles]

my skin has this wierd unhealthy yellow tone to it right now. i think only i can tell since i am rather tan already.... it's most likely to the malnutrition my body has been getting the past week... i've been eating so many pills and swallowing so much cough and flu syrup, it's disgusting! looking back i put more medicine then actual food into my body. you see, i've been SO ill the past WEEK, starting the 17th or 18th up until now... today is the first day i have a normal body temperature and can honestly say that i'm feeling a bit better. thank god, too. i honestly wanted a gun to my head as well as make my death wishes and arrange for a funeral. i thought that i would never get better. i haven't smoked since wednesday. i think i quit. might as well, right? it's just sad that most of my brother's stay here i can't hang out or drink with him or enjoy any of my friend's birthdays, or other parties... or fucking work and make money .. i had to be fucking sick all this time... and i'm still not any better. and now my car is shitting out on me once again.

holidays? i'm not too worried for my own personal benefit, they haven't mattered much to me. i guess i haven't found the "joys/spirits of the holidays/christmas" but looking at all that i could have done looking back at my thanksgiving invites by all my amazing friends. i just get angry. why did i have to get sick.

but it's funny how things work. it's funny, all the things we must put up with... it's funny, the things we must go through... to find that better state.
it's funny that it took my father 2 and something years of my brother's abscence and just a few drunken nights together to realize that he's alright :) and it took so many years and the army to make him realize that the "boy" is capable of great things. my brother found his calling...the army.
when am i gonna find mine??

Currently Listening Broken Boy Soldiers By The Raconteurs see related

you want everything to be just like / the stories that you read but never write / you gotta learn to live and live and learn / you gotta learn to give and wait your turn .. / ..i'm adding something new to the mixture / so there's a different hue to your picture [the racomtuers]